(The rogue apostrophe in the title is ironic… honest.)
I am a hater of the apostrophe – but only its misuse.
The apostrophe is used to denote missing letters in words that over the years have been dropped to ease pronunciation. The commonest examples are the auxiliary verbs and the word ‘not’. Thus I am becomes I’m and are not becomes aren’t. Of course there are exceptions, notably am not changing to ain’t in what is a stupendous piece of illogicality.
Some nouns can be shortened in the same way: a ship’s forecastle proved to be too hard to say, so the second syllable was dropped and it became fo’c’slebecause lazy sailors preferred it that way. Similarly, five of the clock became five o’clock. Some words gain apostrophes only in lyrical works, to help illustrate the rhythm – an example of this is ev’ry.
There are issues with the apostrophe. It is misunderstood by the vast majority of people. And yet the reason it exists is to make life easier. I would expect that if you didn’t know how to use something – a nuclear reactor, for instance – you wouldn’t even attempt to start. It’s the same with the apostrophe. If you don’t get it, leave it alone.
Anyway, there is only one rule to remember with the apostrophe, and that is, “Use an apostrophe when letters are missing.”
Now, there will be people who disagree with this, but it’s true.
Misuse often occurs where plurals are involved. Plural simply means more than one. So we see the famous greengrocer signs like Carrot’s cheap today. But there is nothing missing here, it just means more than one carrot, so it should read Carrots cheap today.
Another example: Parent’s are asked to supervise their children. Again nothing is missing, it is a request to more than one parent to look after their kids. The correct form is Parents are asked to supervise their children. But the children belong to the parents, you say. True no doubt, but the two words are not together in the sentence and the message is directed at parents, not children.
For more on this one rule, and how it applies to all uses of apostrophes, see The Dreaded Apostrophe, from which the above quote comes.
The photo above was taken at Leeds City Station, showing a corrected sign.
More vandals are needed in all of these places.
Go forth and correct.
