Well, so far no feedback on the new look. Maybe that has something to do with not actually telling many people it’s here again. I haven’t thought this through have I?
Clearly not. It occurred to me earlier tonight that HSX may have to not be anymore. The site can stay, but not him. I haven’t decided anything, it’s just something I want to play around with, but this is now the third attempt to carry on writing (The second was the aborted attempt you see if you browse back through this place. The first, well, that, quite rightly, doesn’t exist anywhere.)
Each time I write, or sit down to try to write, there’s a huge psychological barrier to start to break down. The temptations of the past aren’t there anymore – I’m not the person I once was. It’s a cliché I know, but older is most definitely wiser. It may also be only a year and a bit ago but it still applies dammit!
To be honest, I don’t think it matters what name I use to write under. I think that the important thing is what I write. The main aim is still to entertain, but probably not as often as I would ideally like. I can’t do that.
Writing the Peter Perkins entry made me realise that I can give hope to people, I can provide them with words on a screen that make them smile, that fulfil their aim. It also helped a lot.
Truth: Before I was asked to place that link on my site, I wasn’t going to write much publicly again. My heart wasn’t there and I didn’t think it was something I could do. I have done a lot of writing for one person, you know who you are, and you know why, but that was a lot easier because it was for a different reason. There’s no real purpose to this site, to why I’m sat here writing at half past midnight on a Friday morning after coming home from Leeds on a good night out. And I drove, so that’s not the reason…
Let’s see how it goes.
Just one more thing, I can’t keep you informed about that, I need you to do it.
