Today’s well thought out point is that John Kerry will not win the US election on November 2. Or at least, I don’t think he should win. Plasticene men shouldn’t be allowed to run…
Now, you’re probably thinking that this has started out a lot weirder than usual. And you’re right. I’ll get this out of the way right now. The reason John Kerry can’t win the election is that he looks like Postman Pat.
Now those pictures don’t illustrate it in the best way, but I needed an image with Jess on it. I think something strange has happened and Postman Pat has come to life. When he realised though but very few politicians had as trendy a haircut as him, and very few are bald (look what happened to William Hague and Ian Duncan Smith… but then again they were Tories. Maybe it was just that…) I think “John Kerry” murdered Jess and created a strange looking wig from him.
Let’s face it, with a head that tall, he needed something to take the eye away from it. A perfect Jess wig would do the trick to cover up his massive forehead.
What Everyone Else Thinks, However…
I’m not going into looking at policies or anything like that. Why bother? I’m not American, I can’t vote. I seriously doubt that any Americans are reading this right now. Except possibly Joe. Hi Joe. However, there is a way that everyone in the whole world can vote in the US election if you so wish. Click here to go to BetaVote.com. It won’t have an affect but at least you can gauge what the rest of the world thinks.
By the way, at the time of writing Bush had 9% (611 votes) and Kerry had 90% (5962 votes) of the United Kingdom votes. 6473 people have voted. That works out at 0.01086% of the UK population (based on latest estimates that there are 59.6 million people in the UK). Obviously not all of the UK could vote if this were a real election but that figure would take too much time to find out (i.e. it wasn’t readily available) but still, let’s try and up that percentage shall we?!
Having scanned through the list as well, there are few countries where Bush is winning. Azerbaijan is one, Niger another, Kuwait also. The vote is surprisingly close in Iraq too… 332 votes for Bush, 334 for Kerry. Overall Bush has fewer than 30,000 votes, Kerry just over 205,000… It seems that not everyone is as fickle as me. But then again, I’ve read lots of articles saying Bush is perceived in America as their worst president ever.
Annoying Everyone…
And so to the theme tune to Postman Pat… the first line of the chorus is: “Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat and his black and white cat…”
Not, as a very annoying small child was going around the supermarket singing the other day: “Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, hehe, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, haha, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, and Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, and Postman Pat, and Postman Pat, had a Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, and Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, hehe, Postman Pat, hehe, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, want that chocolate one, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, hehehehe, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, and his Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, and his black and white Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat’s cat, hahaha.”
